⚫

A Myth of Me

There has been a flooding
It started with a leaking old pipe
then poured in the sewage- my old shirt
revenge of the object.

In this rented basement
I am hiding a home
I am hiding myself
and something else
a flipside of homelessness
Yet with one more great-flood
it followed its way-in
and that followed:

the old times ⋄ a few extra coins ⋄ lost hair in the bath tub ⋄ promises ⋄ tickets to a flight to-and-back from Kansas ⋄ unpaid unreadable bills ⋄ expired IDs ⋄ half written essays ⋄ Zettelkasten of hope ⋄ fight ⋄ fear ⋄ horniness ⋄ gifts- once loved then lost to time to fate ⋄ myself- piece by piece scattered all over the city etc.

All that drifting ever slowly
to the ever empty sea
stopping by my street
to say a quick-hello
-remember me?

I hide in my little basement
Its walls run thin
to stop one’s history
pour back-in

I step out for a smoke
time to time
to breathe some fresh air
of the world gone-by
- got rid of me
eons ago

I bring back a stray cat
offer her food, love
and a worn out couch
show her all the things
I was once made of
now it all stinks-
a self-eulogy
my fermented anthology.

I am not out there anymore
cornered in my basement
lives all of me
all of my time
all- what it could be
an object of reality
and a myth of me.

⚫

Kayfabe| Youth: You motherfucker!

in memory of Charles Bukowski

who the fuck fucks anymore?
wanna be kids?
when the mix is about right

what terrible idea in writing-
yet deliciously consummating in practice
then taking turns- to exist
one in the bedroom- other on the couch
poor bastard kids
born of pretending

and a whole lot of fucking
we were long done
playing our own- little kayfabes

its all fucked up
no one is fucking
we're just fucking around
or some of us
so to speak.

⚫

A Well-done Beef Wrap

I burn my bread hard
burn it down to its stripes
ਬਾਹਰੋਂ ਭੁਜਿਆ | ਅੰਦਰੋਂ ਰਸਿਆ
ਸੁਰਖ਼-ਹਰਾ

tastes like:
smoke, fire, ash and coal
If I dare a bite
my mouth fills with—

salt ⋄ black pepper ⋄ cabbage ⋄ a lake ⋄ a barn ⋄ my lover riding me ⋄ lemons ⋄ splitting ⋄ pickle ⋄ tomatoes yes, fucking tomatoes we grew in the backyard ⋄ last time I was too sad to eat her downs ( I had planed so, but I was way too sad that morning) ⋄ a husky-smelling candle ⋄ parks ⋄ summer cottages ⋄ sweating a flood while sleeping, and laughing about it (how cute) ⋄ but beef— mostly

I live in a big well-done beef wrap
if you can live in it
you can eat it too
and its pretty fucking big
I can tell you that much

⚫

Habits Are Expensive

A cup of tea ⋄ smoking ⋄ washing ⋄ eating ⋄ cleaning ⋄ hitting a joint

Such a long wait
to write something
about habits

⚫

Two more days

some money will arrive in two days
two days are nothing
I would have outlived it
then let the elements have me
but some money will arrive in two days

death won't barge-in
unless I open the door
but I won't
not even for a cigarette
some fucking money will arrive in two days
I would have outlived it though.

Some things are given- everyday
they aren't food, rent or dignity
a cat and another day
I tell my cat
some money is headed our way
it could arrive in two days
we would have outlived it though

we will not have intrusive thoughts
of wanting to eat people’s kids
don't you think?

⚫

Granny Smith | 11th Nov 2024

some money arrived
might not make the walls close on me
but slow them down

I ate a Granny Smith apple
seasoned with

half a teaspoon of salt ⋄ half a lemon ⋄ fine-chopped cilantro stems ⋄ black crushed pepper ⋄ quarter of a lemon ⋄ two tabelspoon of Tahin ⋄ worn-out socks ⋄ 9 pages of writing ⋄ walking around naked like I was the first man and the only man left behind ⋄ forgiveness ⋄ apologies ⋄ anger ⋄ a pack of cheap lavender incense ⋄ reading merleau ponty ⋄ chasing my cat with a piece of paper he thinks is a monster ⋄ not checking on friends and foes.

Copyrights reserved@mrityunjayawasthy 2024

I know where poetry comes from